Thunder in the Night Redux

Tears in the Rainpoem © Jeffrey Beaty
November 5 rewrite of a “first draft” written November 4, 2015
8 lines

Looking at the original version of this poem that I wrote and published yesterday, an idea occurred to me about its arrangement that I wish I had thought of earlier. So I edited it to this version which I like a LOT better.

Originally I planned to just update the original post, but then decided it might be cool to see the history of how it progressed. And it makes my “jumping the gun” look like I intended to provide a constructive learning experience instead of the reality — my creative “process” is a chaotic, “wishy-washy”, and unfocused mess. (Note to self: Let something you have created sit a while before deciding, “This is done.”)


Wind rattles the shutters
  As clouds boil in your eyes.
Water gurgles through gutters
  As rain your tears disguise.
Autumn's last leaves take flight
  On the breath of your sighs.
And thunder grumbles in the night,
  Declaring our goodbyes.

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