Why Me?

poem? © Jeffrey Beaty
March 28, 2022 — 3 AM

I felt the need to write this… thing. Technically not a poem. I question whether it can even be classified free verse. But the act of pulling it out of me resulted in a weird combination of pseudo meter and pseudo structured lines, mixed with long run-on bits of normal prose. Anyway, it had that feeling I occasionally get when I find myself turning poetic whether or not the results qualify as that — an intense need to express something that I can’t quite communicate even to myself. I cropped, simplified, reordered and structured a little making it at least a little more poetic, in form if not fact, until it felt at least in part like what I needed to say.

Why Me? by "I'd sign my name, but why?"

I often wonder:
Why me?
Not in a "Poor little me," way.
Not in a "Why is the world picking on me," way.
I know I don't matter.

There are so many others that are greater.
That face greater challenges,
Live greater lives.
Deserve greater rewards they may or may not receive.

There are so many others that are worthy.
Worthy of acclaim, affection, success.
Deserve happiness, contentment, and/or
Companionship they may or may not receive.

There are so many others who matter.
Who’ve produced something, anything.
Who have made a change for better or worse.
Who have a family, raised children,
Have significant others they need.
Or who need them.

That word. Significant.
Others have significance.
Their presence in the equation of the world alters the results.
Even if only a little.

If others ask, Why me?
There is an answer.
If they are honest.

Why then when I ask
Is the only answer
Silence?

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